The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
