Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dick very happy bro
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
