I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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