The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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