the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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