i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
