We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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