This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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