just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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