Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
