I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
