this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
