All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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