I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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