evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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