Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
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