when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
