quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
