I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
