Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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