Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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