it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
they're like a gay fantastic four
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
