Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
