It's Friday. Sex?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
