I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
