Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
