the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
In other news, I just burned my penis
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
