I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
