Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
