Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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