But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Who died my cat blue again?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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