someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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