i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
