chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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