Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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