girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
