How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize