So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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