Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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