Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?

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  (973): On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now? http://tfl.nu/9ud5
  Replies (57) Good night (3018) Bad night (848)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.

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  (480): I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty. http://tfl.nu/9fyr
  Replies (100) Good night (4128) Bad night (700)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?

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  (612): When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder? http://tfl.nu/3y9l
  Replies (16) Good night (3615) Bad night (1415)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.

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  (416): Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her. http://tfl.nu/nm33
  Replies (10) Good night (1086) Bad night (3137)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  it's not cheating when I paid for it

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  (678): it's not cheating when I paid for it http://tfl.nu/o8mk
  Replies (67) Good night (1638) Bad night (5473)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.

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  (802): He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed. http://tfl.nu/y5o9
  Replies (22) Good night (6132) Bad night (1068)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.

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  (504): Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself. http://tfl.nu/n9ey
  Replies (9) Good night (1069) Bad night (2878)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life

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  (774): So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life http://tfl.nu/2cua
  Replies (27) Good night (6755) Bad night (1291)
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  (718): View more from New York

  The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.

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  (718): The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be. http://tfl.nu/vr33
  Replies (5) Good night (3513) Bad night (1304)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon

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  (303): Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon http://tfl.nu/wym2
  Replies (3) Good night (2004) Bad night (724)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.

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  (434): We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them. http://tfl.nu/odfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1193) Bad night (527)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.

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  (479): Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question. http://tfl.nu/6lny
  Replies (6) Good night (905) Bad night (426)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  started my period, we have to try again next week

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint

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  (770): started my period, we have to try again next week (1-770): if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint http://tfl.nu/4qkj
  Replies (11) Good night (1529) Bad night (396)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them

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  (647): The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them http://tfl.nu/sne8
  Replies (0) Good night (572) Bad night (258)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.

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  (250): I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/pg6b
  Replies (3) Good night (237) Bad night (485)

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