Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up