Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
