in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
