he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
