GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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