She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
