I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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