She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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