the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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