I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
