I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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