North Korea, Best Korea!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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