Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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