mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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