awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
