I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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