i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
