DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
