i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he laminated a picture of his dick.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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