At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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