Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Randomize
